A year of firsts #1

Trigger warning: death, hospitals

This is the first time one dear to me is hospitalised and quite possibly not going to live long. It may not happen today or tomorrow, next week or next month (they’ve been in hospital for 8 weeks already, this time round. I’ve been visiting for less than a week and already the weight of that building is crushing me) but the point is, it’s going to happen. 
Does anyone have any advice or stories to share about visiting someone in hospital? 

I’m sorry, I could write more about what I’ve been thinking about but there’s too much and I feel so tired. If I could think words onto the screen I would. I’d like to process them in this way. 

10 thoughts on “A year of firsts #1

    1. Thank you heaps, Ria. I’m not sure where the line is – looking after myself and going to visit as often as possible. But thank you for the reminder. Stay well too. Xo

  1. Take care, lovely. It’s the most difficult journey of all. Been there and I think it’s a very sacred space to inhabit. But that’s to process later. Now just take deep breaths and do what’s most practical
    Lots of love

    1. Also, physical death appears to be final while a death of something inside us puts us in a different state. It’s change. Whether it’s”good” or “bad” is not immutable, as we aren’t stuck in finality, not really.

  2. Done a bit of this, both parents, friends, a sister-in-law. I can’t give advice other than to say that your love and care is worth giving. Sometimes just being in the room is enough. Lots of good advice here from your friends and it is important to look after yourself, too. Really sorry, Vera. – Josephine x

  3. finding a nice/interesting/related poem, taking a little photocopy of it to share and leaving it for the patient to read later too, worked for me and my mum, she would tuck them in her nightie. She was too weak for whole books anyway. Five years since she died and those poems still live on and make me smile. Also a cosy snack to share (like a creme caramel each!) Lots of love to you

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