Working on a project researching loneliness.

Realise I’m in a depression at the moment. Strangely wondering if my meds – bought in another country due to travel – are genuine. Or if I haven’t been regular enough in taking them recently and if that’s affecting me this much or if all the movement and feelings I’ve been having recently are simply a bit too much. How much is too much?

Realising again that through performance making, that you can design experiences and so, design part of life. How far can this be extended? Control identity, purpose, uniform, players and borders…shit. Is there an optimum number of players to form a team, a connected community?

How does my depression not affect the work I’m making now? Talking round the table about value of a person being based on their work. About the contribution of each member of society. The premise being that every single one of us contributes and adds to the whole. I do believe this. But what I the whole and how is it defined? What is permeable and should be allowed to be permeable? How do we affect one another if we are bombarded with information and moving about? Who gets to control movement and information?

Postscript: the answer/solution/way out seems to be time.