Thanks to Daniella Val Genz for making this real for me. I had heard about it but never registered it as a real thing beyond “more London news” in my head. Point is, anyone can make things happen. If you want to do it badly enough, do it, and work it out as you do. Learn in the doing.

A grim little lock-up garage, the size of a single car, on a Housing Estate in deepest Bethnal Green is the venue for a series of ‘pop-up’ performances to be staged once-a-month on a Friday night.

The audience assembles in the Car Park and the event ‘pops-up’ promptly at 8pm, finishes at 9, and reconvenes in the nearby Approach Tavern.

Lock Up Performance Art before it ruins your life …drives you to tears …changes your name …makes you dumb rich …destroys the mind …fucks your sad lover …brings you great fame …gets your kit off …bleeds you to shreds …spits in your mouth …warps your good humour …gives you globe-trots…competitive friends…bankruptcy…laps up your arse…wins you a job…bullshits you hard…furs up your tongue… captures your heart…years off your life… showers of gold…makes you a legend…corrupts you and ruins you, ruins your life, always ruins your life, makes you addicted… Lock Up Performance Art before it can