A Parking Lot. Concrete.

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This is something I wrote for class. The assignment was to translate Wang Wei’s poem, Deer Park. Some versions here. It’s the most translated Chinese poem, apparently.

A Parking Lot. Concrete.

A vacant outcrop

Still, air reels and swoops

Celebrity flashes!

            Crowcall clatter

            Brain patter

            Ultraviolet bug spatter

            Bzzzt! Bzzzt!

COME

            back

slide

            back

a knife through butter

a shaft of light

a cool return

a hand on mine

Soft steps on lichen

Shadow-brushing now

© Vera Chok 2014

This is a funny article  which I glanced at this morning. It has a chart scoring and comparing translations of the Wang Wei poem. Please don’t score mine!

 

translator and date
lang
textural fidelity
effective rendering
total
omissions
additions
sense
coherence
concision
diction
rhythm
felicity
1
Fletcher 1919
eng
4
3
2
4
3
3
4
3
28
2
Brynner & Kiang 1929
eng
3
4
2
4
4
4
3
2
26
3
Jenyns 1944
eng
4
3
2
4
4
4
4
3
24
4
Margouliès 1948
fren
4
3
2
4
4
3
4
4
28
5
Chang & Walmsley 1958
eng
3
3
2
4
4
3
4
3
26
6
Chen & Bullock 1960
eng
4
2
2
4
3
4
4
3
26
7
Liu 1962
eng
3
2
2
4
4
3
3
3
24
8
Rexroth 1970
eng
3
1
2
4
1
3
4
3
21
9
Watson 1971
eng
4
4
3
4
4
4
3
3
29
10
Yip 1972
eng
3
4
2
4
4
4
3
2
26
11
Robinson 1973
eng
3
4
3
3
4
3
3
2
25
12
Paz 1974
span
3
3
2
4
4
4
4
4
28
13
McNaughton 1974
eng
3
3
3
3
3
3
4
3
25
14
Cheng 1977
fren
3
2
1
3
4
4
3
3
23
15
Chang 1977
eng
3
2
2
4
4
3
2
2
22
16
Snyder 1978
eng
4
4
3
1
4
4
3
2
25
17
Paz 1978
span
4
4
3
4
4
4
3
3
29
18
Kline 2000
eng
3
3
2
4
4
4
3
3
26
19
Sze 2005
eng
4
3
3
1
4
4
2
2
23
20
Hinton 2005
eng
4
3
3
2
4
4
4
4
28
21
Spiller 2005
eng
3
3
2
1
4
4
3
2
22
22
Landman 1997
eng
3
2
1
2
4
3
2
2
19
23
Owen 1997
eng
4
3
1
3
3
3
2
2
21

 

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