This is something I wrote for class. The assignment was to translate Wang Wei’s poem, Deer Park. Some versions here. It’s the most translated Chinese poem, apparently.

A Parking Lot. Concrete.

A vacant outcrop

Still, air reels and swoops

Celebrity flashes!

            Crowcall clatter

            Brain patter

            Ultraviolet bug spatter

            Bzzzt! Bzzzt!

COME

            back

slide

            back

a knife through butter

a shaft of light

a cool return

a hand on mine

Soft steps on lichen

Shadow-brushing now

© Vera Chok 2014

This is a funny article  which I glanced at this morning. It has a chart scoring and comparing translations of the Wang Wei poem. Please don’t score mine!

 

	translator and date	lang	textural fidelity				effective rendering				total
			omissions	additions	sense	coherence	concision	diction	rhythm	felicity
1	Fletcher 1919	eng	4	3	2	4	3	3	4	3	28
2	Brynner & Kiang 1929	eng	3	4	2	4	4	4	3	2	26
3	Jenyns 1944	eng	4	3	2	4	4	4	4	3	24
4	Margouliès 1948	fren	4	3	2	4	4	3	4	4	28
5	Chang & Walmsley 1958	eng	3	3	2	4	4	3	4	3	26
6	Chen & Bullock 1960	eng	4	2	2	4	3	4	4	3	26
7	Liu 1962	eng	3	2	2	4	4	3	3	3	24
8	Rexroth 1970	eng	3	1	2	4	1	3	4	3	21
9	Watson 1971	eng	4	4	3	4	4	4	3	3	29
10	Yip 1972	eng	3	4	2	4	4	4	3	2	26
11	Robinson 1973	eng	3	4	3	3	4	3	3	2	25
12	Paz 1974	span	3	3	2	4	4	4	4	4	28
13	McNaughton 1974	eng	3	3	3	3	3	3	4	3	25
14	Cheng 1977	fren	3	2	1	3	4	4	3	3	23
15	Chang 1977	eng	3	2	2	4	4	3	2	2	22
16	Snyder 1978	eng	4	4	3	1	4	4	3	2	25
17	Paz 1978	span	4	4	3	4	4	4	3	3	29
18	Kline 2000	eng	3	3	2	4	4	4	3	3	26
19	Sze 2005	eng	4	3	3	1	4	4	2	2	23
20	Hinton 2005	eng	4	3	3	2	4	4	4	4	28
21	Spiller 2005	eng	3	3	2	1	4	4	3	2	22
22	Landman 1997	eng	3	2	1	2	4	3	2	2	19
23	Owen 1997	eng	4	3	1	3	3	3	2	2	21