So I was thinking aloud, prompted by a question about what feminists think about porn: 
I am not against porn per se, and am rather pro porn depending on what kind it is and there’s the nub – what is our definition of porn? There are many kinds – I’m no expert but look up Cindy Gallop who is rather an amazing woman and feminist (Make Love Not Porn – real couples uploading their own home made porn (not to be confused with “amateur porn” – see her notes on that, James Deen – quite “mainstream” yet mostly rather positive and transparent depictions of sexual encounters. What about art house porn? What about soft porn or erotica or written fiction? I’m interested in where we draw the line if we are talking negative moral influences vs freedom of expression. (Also see this lawyer who defends “extreme porn”. Not sure I agree but some good points worth thinking about: http://www.theguardian.com/law/2015/sep/09/one-lawyers-crusade-defend-extreme-pornography)
My opinion is also that not everyone within the sex industry (again, I mean this in loosest possible terms i.e. my those making money from sexual activity) is a victim, knowing or unknowing (as put forth by some eg Kat Banyard, The Equality Illusion). I’m uncomfortable with the issue that all these people are labelled as not having agency or awareness plus some external folk have the wisdom to do the labelling. 
I wonder if this clarifies my position: I am interested in the shame associated with sex. So, in life, I am not going to campaign for porn BUT I do want there to be much, MUCH, more open discussion and DISPLAY of and around sex, including sexual acts which may or may not constitute the content of porn. So I suppose I mean that some porn is degrading and badly made but that being able to watch real or constructed sexual acts is not something I am inherently against. Sex is a form of communication and expression and perhaps instead of curtailing the “bad” stuff, we could push through to the good side by being open about our desires (which are of course individual but that’s my point, really. If we shared more then the landscape of titillation would shift).
In relation to BDSM and feelings of guilt, Clarisse Thorn writes interestingly: http://clarissethorn.com/

I haven’t read her books but some of her articles. Katherine Angel’s book looks at the desire to be dominated by a “maleness” and it’s is very personal. It wasn’t to my taste but it may be interesting to those not quite in full-on BDSM relations.  
It’s also worth thinking about heteronormative sex and relationships and to consider that this is possibly not a universal truth or immutable moral reality. What do we consider “normal” sex in relation to love, relationships and every day life? Many social behaviours, concepts, and structures (marriage, monogamy, maternal love) aren’t universal.
So I’m asking a whole bunch of questions here and I’m particularly interested in hearing about pro-sex and sex-positive writers, movements, etc. Thanks!