A writing exercise from today. I had fun revisiting this task – remembering sensations, the things that are important to me now and how they may or may not transpose into the future. Not so much material things but sensations and beauty and the joy of curiosity. But material things as well. Things and people that assist (?) my connection with the people and things around me – the sky, the ground, laughter, smells. 

I felt defiant reading this out but there as a shift: for them to see -> for me.

I tend to start from a position of openness and trust, and this allows discomfort. Yesterday I was very very uncomfortable. Today a little. But logically and emotionally, I’d rather start open than closed. 

I wish I had recorded my “significant goodbye” exercise today. 

It is better to think about what joy I can generate or grow or get, than to go in fighty. 

***

I wake up early now. It’s6am and there is fresh air in the room due to slightly open windows.

It’s quiet and dark where I sleep and I’ve orientated my bed with my head facing East due to cumulated superstitious things I’ve been told. There’s not mirror facing the bed.

I’m near the woods and I am near the sea. There is a sleepy lazy dog in the room, happy that I’m waking up but not impatient for food. He knows we will eat and walk soon enough.

There is the smell of coffee in the air. (I like the imagined sound of wet, swirling, coffee grounds.) My partner wakes earlier and is meditating in their part of the house. I’ll see them later.

There’s breakfast waiting for me in the kitchen, which is painted a lovely, airey yellow. Some steamed rice and a fried egg with fresh cut chillies. Hot spiced tea in the teapot and a mug warmed with hot water.

I can hear Joe the dog’s doggy claws on the heated kitchen tiles and the thump thump of his tail.

I eat in the kitchen looking out then walk into the garden with my tea. It smells fresh. I’m wearing cotton pyjamas and a light dressing gown perfect for the season.

I do what I do every morning and write 3 A4 pages of whatever is in my mind. 

I pull on sensible shoes and go for a little walk with Joe. I’m still wearing my pyjamas and gown but that’s fine. My feet stay dry. 

Back in the garden, I check my correspondence and social media just to see what’s up, and read the news and journals online. It’s warm enough to do so outside. I have more tea.

My assistant arrives at 10 and we go through stuff that needs to be done that day. She tells me is there’s anything urgent I need to know. We have a chat about what she was to last night. She always surprises me with the way she thinks about things – she has a sensitive, patient soul. I am not as patient. I like knowing what happens at night in places I don’t normally go to. I guess she goes to things which I’d go to if I were her age and had the energy. Sometimes she goes alone which is something I marvel at. 

We go for a walk as I think better when I’m moving. 

Then she goes off to organise lunch and I go for a swim in the pool. It’s heated and half of it in indoors, so I can swim under cover or under the sky if I want to. Neighbours are welcome to hang out by the pool so we have a little chat sometimes but we mainly enjoy a cuppa in silence and do a spot of reading. We keep the pool area phone and computer free. 

I have a great shower and enjoy the familiar smells and have a lovely stretch before putting on my comfy but fab clothes for the day. 

Lunch time! I get to squeeze my honey and tell them they’re the best! They still laugh at me and that’s cool. What’s today’s random lunch time boogaloo tune? It comes on and we do our best silly dancing before eating. Joe joins in a little. The cat, Cat, watches and yawns.

Ok, afternoon time. Off to my studio on the hillside to meet with someone I’m helping. They’re making a show out of some poetic writing they’ve generated. We spend a few hours doing this with laughter and tough questions and pop music. 

(NB – At this point I run out of writing time and need to present the result of this writing exercise to the group. So I zoom through the day. Maybe I’ll sit down to wriyevhe rest of this.)

Now it’s my time. I spend the rest of the day reading in my comfy couch and writing in intervals. I welcome my guest* for the show and we record it happily.

Tonight like most nights I watch a film with  my lover and we burble each other to sleep. 

*Chelsea Handler? Ha. We’re good pals now and we hang out. I feel lucky and smug to be able to laugh and cry with someone like her.