Maybe?

Finally, maybe? Last week I had a little taste of my old self. It’s been a while and tbh I’m a little afraid to note or celebrate it. What was different last week? I wrote some powerful things with some clarity of mind, I started connecting people again and felt excited that I still have that skill and intuition, I had a flurry of little but powerful bursts of energy which built on the last, I started reconnecting with old friends, started journaling again, got back into a fitness programme, said yes to scary work meetings, started being more organised, started making notes for writing projects again, unpacked a little more, did some admin, contacted some people I’ve been meaning to for months, did a massive amount of gardening, did a grocery shop and said yes to a public appearance. OH! And recorded an episode of my favourite podcast, Page One.

After a few days, I got sidelined by some disturbing life stuff and … it’s ok. While I don’t feel total clarity about the future (who does) I do feel even more certain about who I am. What does that even mean? I am going to own this: I do have faith in my taste, in my friends, in the kind of person that I am. Looking round, one way of logicking things is this: I hugely respect my friends and they respect me. This isn’t about liking or loving or being supportive or compassionate. And respect seems to hold something like a key.

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